Log in

No account? Create an account

[icon] Lost Dreams
View:Recent Entries.
You're looking at the latest 10 entries.
Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 10 entries

Time:05:05 pm
at last i go to nyc...=D
just too lazy to type more...=P
comments: Leave a comment Flag

Time:11:40 pm

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but
because he has run out of women.

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris
can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."
After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided
to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed
by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick.
When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths
have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul
back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he
should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
the month.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a
stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly
after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck
Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew
once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard,
deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
"beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous
of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have
Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse
kick related deaths.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer, Chuck Norris smoked 15
cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of
cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that,
Lance Armstrong.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more
than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck
Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing
Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for
a single show, however, so it was divided.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked
names for his left and right legs.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate,
but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to
him. Pirates never were very smart.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment Flag

Time:11:17 am

I am a member of 4 cliques of size 4

comments: Leave a comment Flag

Subject:Update on my life...
Time:08:59 pm
Current Mood:hyperhyper
well i finally won my girl back...ive been found impossible to resist...so i am very happy again...:)
she asks me how i did it...but the honest truth was i stuck with her...personally i think she got herself to fall in love with me...for whatever reason she can't keep her hands off me...:)
i feel really lucky knowing her and sometimes i feel unworthy of having her...but i do so yeah...:)
comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment Flag

Subject:My shortest love...
Time:09:43 pm
Ok ive known this girl for several months...but she was with someone else...but she finally broke up with that person...i told her how i felt...but she didnt feel the same way towards me...but i finally got her to like me...so we started going out for about a week...then some other dude who gots a pregnant girlfriend swoops her up...granted im gonna beat the crap out of him tomorrow...and a few of her friends like me, which stopped us from making the relationship public...so the only two people that will ever know we had a relationship is me and her...ugh i wish this didn't end this way...bah why do i have to like girls...and why do they have to like me...
comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment Flag

Time:02:38 pm

I feel sorry for the guys in guantanamo...most of them arent guilty of anything...
comments: Leave a comment Flag

Subject:Get your GMAIL G!!!!!!
Time:02:28 pm
comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment Flag

Subject:bad times :(
Time:04:42 pm

comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment Flag

Time:05:39 pm
History Class, the year 2073.... "Now Class, you must realize that the president of the Unites States, from 2000 through 2008, Totally By Accident, managed to fix all the problems in the Middle East that have been going on since the dawn of recorded history.. Isn't that amazing class?"

Totally by Accident..


*stolen quote from someone on indepundit.com*

while i applaud Bush's help in getting some working of democracy there underway...i dont believe that he is the source, but merely a weak catalyst. I think at least in the Saudis case it was because of the terrorists assaulting them....
comments: Leave a comment Flag

Time:03:53 pm
Semi-addictive game
comments: Leave a comment Flag

[icon] Lost Dreams
View:Recent Entries.
You're looking at the latest 10 entries.
Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 10 entries